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[Week 20, Day 4] Text

[The message appears across the network, in the evening, a little after sunset.]

I was wondering what you perceive as strength...

Comments

(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 10:16 am (UTC)
[voice]
I think... yes, physical strength isn't the only definition. Because even emotion can dictate how strong you can be physically. A person with no physical training in their entire life is capable of lifting or breaking a solid object if someone they care for is in danger. So no... but...

[A short pause.]

You say that, but sometimes people don't even know what they need. Is not knowing a weakness? Does it hamper strength...you think?
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 10:29 am (UTC)
[voice]
[There is a short chuckle.]

Yes, I suppose so. It's good to stand up for what you need, though more often that, I've come across many those back home who put aside what they need for a purpose or reason that they deem is greater than themselves.

In this case, in forgetting one's self, for another's behalf -- to whatever cost, whatever limit, all things negative and positive -- does that count as strength too, you think?
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 10:46 am (UTC)
[voice]
Still noble even if it costs another one's happiness, comfort, or what have you?

[Because he has seen men like these, come and go. And Iruka thinks it's a lonely existence. When he's not even aware that he's probably one of those men as well.]
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 12:16 pm (UTC)
[voice - private]
The intention is always noble. Yes. The greater picture is always great...

[And here Iruka honestly pauses.]

Need is one thing. Want is another. There is almost a thin line between the two. What then, if it isn't a question of need but rather a question of want?
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 03:28 pm (UTC)
[voice - private]
Just... in general I suppose.
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 03:54 pm (UTC)
[voice - private]
To want something that it becomes a need, earns a person no right to be forgiven. Then a person has no right to want if they wish to not make mistakes that will require forgiveness. But they can spend the rest of their lives probably trying to earn it anyway... that's a miserable and sad existence, don't you think?

[But those words hit harder than anyone can ever think, in all honesty. Iruka can feel the burn behind his throat.]
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 04:08 pm (UTC)
[voice - private]
[That. Makes Iruka laugh. Laugh like he means it and he does.]

You're quite the devil yourself, Rin-san.

[But the laugh recedes and what comes out is a quieter tone, searching if anything.]

You really believe that?
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 04:49 pm (UTC)
[voice - private]
Actually, Rin-san... I don't think there is any shame in wanting something when you've been doing nothing but serving the nobly for a long while. Is that not a deserving?

[A pause and in the comforts of his privacy, Iruka presses a hand against his eyelid, putting pressure there.]

A right, even, to a person...
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 05:06 pm (UTC)
[voice - private]
[Killing... a loved one.]

Define... killing, Rin-san. Because... there are so many ways a person can kill someone. Taking our current environment in to consideration, physical death is the most merciful of them all, I think... I feel.

So define 'killing', Rin-san...

[Iruka speaks quietly, not harshly, or one that is filled with judgment.]
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 05:21 pm (UTC)
[voice - private]
I would too...

[Who wouldn't get very angry? Who wouldn't?]

Then, Rin-san, what if you were responsible? You know what it's like, dying only to be returned. [Because Iruka knows too.] It can destroy a person, dying and coming back.

[Because there is a brief sensation of having felt that, an oranged picture and the feel of blood flowing from the tip of a finger -- and then nothing.]

Where I come from, the dead doesn't return. But that's there. If you get angry, what are you going to do? To the person who has caused your loved one that harm?

[And then the punchline -- and this one is really, really serious.]

Would you seek to kill that person? Destroy that person?
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 17th, 2011 05:35 pm (UTC)
[voice - private]
Your words are safe with me...

[Which means yes, this is private as Iruka pauses for a moment to think on her words for a moment.]

Would you really shoulder that burden? The responsibility for destroying another person simply because you were angered. If perhaps, for the benefit of the doubt, the man in question, your friend, hadn't been aware, when he lost control of himself .... then...

[A pause.]

I'm sorry, I am speaking hypothetically. It is callous to use what is a painful experience for you as a case study.... a discussion...

[An offer, sincere, to drop the subject all together. Or maybe, Iruka doesn't want to hear the answers. Because he's not sure how hard that would hit him.]
(Deleted comment)
smiling_umino
Mar. 18th, 2011 04:43 am (UTC)
[voice - private]
I think it should matter... I think you should shoulder the burden of what you've done because I think, if you hurt someone, truly hurt them, and later you feel nothing about it, that it's become okay... it's a little alarming don't you think?

To have lost so much of yourself in your anger?

[His voice is still neutral when he says this, but the words leave him and the pause that follows is almost a reflective one, makes him think...]

Maybe...? I think the right thing is that it should matter.
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[voice - private] - smiling_umino - Mar. 19th, 2011 03:38 am (UTC) - Expand
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[voice - private] - smiling_umino - Mar. 21st, 2011 08:30 am (UTC) - Expand
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[voice - private] - smiling_umino - Mar. 21st, 2011 04:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
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[voice - private] - smiling_umino - Mar. 21st, 2011 04:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
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[voice - private] - smiling_umino - Mar. 21st, 2011 06:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
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[voice - private] - smiling_umino - Mar. 21st, 2011 06:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Kannagara - The Way of the Gods

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