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[Though Gau and Raikou’s departure weighs heavily on her mind, Lenalee starts the video with a small smile. She isn’t sure where to begin, with so many thoughts tumbling through her head, but having deliberated for a few hours she is convinced that things are never going to get any clearer. So Lenalee starts speaking without quite knowing where it is she’s trying to go.]

It’s funny, it’s taken me this long to realize that at some point I went from being the new person here to being among those who have been here the longest. It’s fall now; thinking back… I was here for Christmas last year, and arrived sometime during the summer, so it’s been well over a year by now. Maybe closer to two. I suppose… I’m not sure how old I should say I am now. Eighteen? It’s strange to think about.

[Her birthday had always been such a huge ordeal at home, with her brother insisting on throwing a lavish party in her honor. Letting the date slip by without notice had been an impossibility. Lenalee had felt horribly homesick when the realization first struck her. Though the thought still makes her miss her brother terribly, she keeps a nostalgic smile in place.]

Oh, I don’t mean to discourage those of you who have arrived recently and are hoping for a quick escape. That happens too. I’ve seen people that I knew for a very long time leave, but there are also people that I barely got a chance to know. It’s just a little odd, to realize that there aren’t many people left who can recall things from far before I arrived here.

[Lenalee can’t help her smile turning self-deprecating, thinking about how angry she would have been a year ago to know that this would happen. She would have also been forlorn and hopeless, and that is less funny. But remembering her complete inability to see eye-to-eye with Allen and Rin’s acceptance of their place in Kannagara, it’s amazing to take a step back and realize how much she has changed. Some of it is from loss, which Lenalee has never weathered gracefully. Some of it is from glimpses of her own world, and realizing how badly things have taken a turn for the worse there. But she has to believe that that isn’t all there is to it.]

Sorry, I’m rambling, I didn’t mean to waste everyone’s time. What I meant to say is that if you need help or have questions about this world, or want to talk for any reason, please know that I’m available. I can’t get you out of here, but I hope I’ll be someone that you can rely on.

Comments

(Deleted comment)
nec_metu
Nov. 5th, 2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
[video]
It certainly seems that way.

[Lenalee smiles, a little more tiredly than she meant to. Pieces of her world dropping away, one by one. She isn't sure when it stopped mattering that they didn't belong in the same place together; it felt like loss when they left. And they were part of her world.]

It's fine. Do you think that would be a good thing?

[Lenalee means it as an honest question, but once the words are out it sounds a bit like an accusation.]

I'm not sure anymore.

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Kannagara - The Way of the Gods

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